PARIS — After falling from grace due to public allegations of domestic abuse and seeking to turn the page to start a different chapter in his life, disgraced rapper and music mogul Diddy has found a successful new career as a female Olympic boxer.
Sean "Diddy" Combs became a public pariah after being accused of instances of violence against multiple women, forcing him to leave the public eye and the entertainment industry before embarking on his new quest for Olympic glory in women's boxing.
"It's time to try something new," Combs said while having his fists taped up by his trainer before his fight. "I've been catching a lot of flak for things I've done to women, so I figured why not use these talents I have to do something that can bring me some positive attention and put my name in the sports history books? That's why I decided to become a female boxer."
Diddy, boxing under the name Seania "Puff Momma" Combs, found immediate success in the Paris Games, brutally bludgeoning several competitors to advance to the medal round. "Combs clearly has a knack for this," one boxing analyst said. "When you watch these fights, you see years of practice and extensive experience when it comes to punching women. The Olympics has created a tremendous platform for Combs to do what he does best."
At publishing time, Combs had already been approached by General Mills to appear on Wheaties boxes to celebrate his outstanding achievement in the field of beating up women.
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