WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats stateside were watching closely as UK election results came in Thursday. They wanted to see how the Labour Party did so they could learn from any mistakes they made.
Well, sure enough, Labour endured a brutal massacre, losing seats they didn't even know they had. So, Democrats vowed to learn from their obvious mistake of not going far enough to the left.
"It's clear that Labour lost because they weren't radical enough," said Rep. Ocasio-Cortez, who had seemingly endorsed Jeremy Corbyn's Labour Party. "We're not going to repeat their mistake. We need to appeal to the common American by pushing policies that would be at home in Soviet Russia."
Rep. Rashida Tlaib said in a statement, "People didn't turn up to the polls across the pond because Corbyn and his brave freedom fighters were too conservative. Labour really should have gone off the deep end, like we're doing with the Democratic Party."
"Also, they could have used a little more anti-semitism."
Nancy Pelosi agreed with the far-left wing of her party, though it was unclear if she really saw eye to eye with them or was just frightened for her life.