U.S. — After watching Kamala self-immolate on national television, Democrats have begun wondering if it's too late to just go back to Joe Biden.
"He was at least able to answer some questions, occasionally," said strategist Neil Massey. "I mean Biden was like Winston Churchill compared to this word salad of vindictive psychopathy."
At publishing time, Democrats had decided that Biden was indeed too senile, but checked to see if perhaps Jimmy Carter was interested in a second term.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
