U.S. — On the eve of a hotly contested presidential election, top Democrats warned the American people that if Trump is elected, it would likely be the end of bureaucracy as we know it.
The sobering news came as voters prepared to head to the polls tomorrow, with many prominent members of the Democratic Party issuing public pleas for people to turn out and defend the federal government's bureaucratic establishment from certain death.
"This is a truly dire situation," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. "If Donald Trump gets back in office, there is a high risk that he will completely overhaul our failed, inefficient mess of a government — an outcome we can't afford to see become a reality. We need your help to keep this bloated, rotting carcass of the federal bureaucracy in power at all costs."
Other Democrats agreed that another Trump presidency would likely spell doom for lucrative but wasteful government programs, with increased efficiency and reduced tax revenue taken in by the government would have a devastating effect on their ability to become wealthy. "Our system of government has never faced a more imminent threat," said Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. "The days of elected officials getting rich from kickbacks, secret bribes, and insider trading may be over. Serving the public should never be the motivating factor for entering public service. I fear for our nation… and my life."
At publishing time, Democrats also warned that electing Trump may result in the terrifying prospect of the federal government operating more efficiently while spending far less money.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
