U.S. — Boomers across the country prepared for church this morning by setting their cell phone ring volume to its absolute max.
In addition to making sure the phone was not on silent mode and the volume turned up high, boomers reportedly also spent a moment to carefully select the most annoying stock ringtone available.
"Okay, it's as loud as it can go with that horrific emergency alarm ringtone. All set for church," said local elderly woman Jean Stallings. "Oops, I almost forgot to bury my phone in the very bottom of my handbag under 74 peppermints and a bunch of Lincoln logs."
Only thirty minutes later, thousands of boomers across the nation were left in total shock after their cell phones did, in fact, ring during service on maximum volume. Shame and humiliation descended upon the gray hairs as the men and women flailed about, helplessly trying to locate the offending phone. Sadly, even when the phone was located, they found themselves completely unable to silence the ringing, all knowledge of how to operate a phone suddenly gone. With the ringing finally stopping, the boomers at last attempted to set their phones to silent.
At publishing time, all of the phones went off a second time as tragically none of them actually knew how to silence a phone.
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