ARLINGTON, VA — As the November elections draw closer, top Democratic leadership has stepped forward to warn the American people that democracy may cease to exist if the Republican party, one of the two major political parties that has existed in the United States for approximately 170 years, wins the election.
According to Hakeem Jeffries, the leader of the Democratic Party, a Republican win in November could prove to be the final critical blow to democracy, despite the fact that the Republican party has been around for the majority of the history of the United States without destroying democracy yet.
"This is a critical moment for the free world," Jeffries noted in a press conference. "If the other major American political party gets a win in this next election, it could spell the end of democracy as we know it. Don't be fooled by their long track record — this time is actually it. This election is even more critical than all those other elections where a Republican win spelled the end for democracy."
"Really, the only way for us to preserve our beautiful democracy is to vote Democrat," Jeffries continued. "It's literally in the name!"
At publishing time, Jeffries' statements have been confirmed by other top Democrats, as well as several Ivy League professors of politics.
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