WASHINGTON, D.C. - Many Democrats have been pushing for what they call Medicare for All - making the Medicare program available to every American - for years, but the pandemic has caused them to rethink this proposal.
"I used to love the idea of universal health care," Senator Bernie Sanders said, "but then I realized there are lots of people I don't want to give health care to, so we needed a proposal that reflects that."
Now a number of Democrats have introduced a new bill: Medicare for All Except the Unvaccinated. It's just like Medicare for All, but instead of providing health care for all Americans, it explicitly denies health care to anyone who doesn't get a COVID-19 vaccine.
"And it's very forward-looking," said Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the world's smartest socialist, "because it has provisions so we can later deny health care to people who don't get enough booster shots. This is great because while I realized I like giving away free stuff, I don't like giving it to people who don't do what I tell them."
While initially only the unvaccinated will be denied health care, there are proposals to expand that group, such as anyone who won't apologize for voting for Trump or who doesn't like Critical Race Theory. The hope is that by denying people health care, Democrats can get people to change their views. Or those people will die, which is just as good.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
