U.S. — Democrats have warned that if elected a second time, Donald Trump will be an evil dictator just like Adolf Hitler. When asked why Trump didn't become Hitler during his first term, Democrats explained that he simply forgot.
"Trump meant to be Hitler, but he forgot," explained Vice President Harris in a press conference at the White House. "Being Hitler just totally slipped his mind. Make no mistake, if Trump is elected again, he absolutely plans to turn into Hitler and probably will write himself a reminder this time."
According to retired General John Kelly, former President Trump often talked about how he kept meaning to find time to be Hitler, but he kept getting distracted by other things. "On several occasions, Trump told me word for word, 'This is it. This is the week I'm going to go be Hitler.' But then, Trump would get started doing something like handing out candy to Minions and he would completely forget," explained Kelly. "This time he has written himself lots of notes telling himself to not forget to turn into literal Hitler. It's terrifying."
At publishing time, Democrats had warned that Trump would have seized the military to install himself as Emperor God during his first term, but luckily he got distracted by making red hats.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
