WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an inspiring show of solidarity with abortionists and other eugenicists, the Democratic Women's Caucus showed up to the Capitol this week wearing stylish butcher coats.
"We will never tire of standing up courageously for the merciless slaughter of human babies so they can be dissected and sold to university researchers for revolting experimentation, er... we mean, 'reproductive healthcare,'" said Pelosi to reporters. "We're courageously standing up for reproductive healthcare and bodily autonomy and euphemisms. Yeah. No further questions, please."
Washington insiders say onlookers were dazzled by the waddling gaggle of women dressed in glittering white slaughterhouse frocks, which as of yet had no spatters of blood on them. "Wow!" said one Capitol intern. "Look at all the feminists! I feel empowered!"
The herd of hunched-over, white-clad crones then danced and shimmied around a large boiling cauldron, waved sharp metal cleavers in the air, and screeched a sacred feminine moon chant to appease Molech before shuffling awkwardly into the Capitol like a flock of broken ducks.
At publishing time, Pelosi had confirmed to reporters that the red stain on her frock was just red wine.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
