MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Pastor and author John Piper was reportedly crushed to find himself unable to draw any tiles depicting a hyphen during a recent, intense Scrabble match with his wife Noel, sources confirmed Friday.
A crestfallen Piper was totally unable to score a single word during the duel of words and wits, seeing the match go to his wife in a historic defeat with a final score of 3748 to 0.
"I could play off Noel's 'centered' word there in the middle and get a double word bonus with 'Christ-centered,' 'gospel-centered,' or 'cross-centered,' but - geez, no hyphens again," Piper reportedly muttered as he took a tenth turn in a row to exchange letters with the bag, hunting for that elusive hyphen tile.
According to witnesses, Piper grew increasingly frustrated as golden opportunities to play words like "soul-satisfying," "Bible-saturated," "missions-minded," and "justice-oriented" passed him by turn after turn as he defied the odds by never once drawing a lucrative hyphen tile from the couple's well-worn Scrabble bag.
After Noel played her final word - "quixotry" across two triple word score squares for 365 points - the couple reportedly shook hands as Piper bemoaned the fact that he just cannot seem to win at Scrabble, before adding "at least I've never lost a game of Charades."