Conservative Homeschool Families Prep For Next Four Years By Adding Armor Plating, Gatling Guns To 15-Passenger Vans

U.S.—For many conservative Christian homeschool families, there are dark times ahead because Biden is a socialist who sniffs people and wants to hurt God. To prepare for the next four dangerous years, many large families are adding armor plating and Gatling guns to their 15 passenger club vans. 

"Now that the mainstream media has labeled us 'dangerous insurrectionists,' it might get a little hairy out there," said local homeschooling dad Travis Bulldoogie. "This 2-inch steel plating and minigun should do a good job of protecting us on our trips to the museum and public library."

Biden and Kamala Harris have vowed to hunt down all the remaining Trump-supporting homeschool families until the country is cleansed of such dangerous insurrectionists.

The Bulldoogie family is looking forward to showing off their new van at Trump's first 2024 rally next month. 

Babylon Bee subscriber Paul Berry contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
There are 129 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.

Get the Bee delivered straight to your inbox: