WASHINGTON, D.C.—Admitting that he is “in over his head” about how to tackle the nation’s $21 trillion in debt, President Donald Trump called in financial guru Dave Ramsey to help the Federal Government figure out how to handle the its finances more frugally and eventually pay off all of its liabilities.
After crunching the numbers, Ramsey reportedly began to lecture members of the Federal Government about their failure to control their spending impulses and avoid racking up trillions of dollars in credit card debt. According to sources, Ramsey then passed out a stack of envelopes with various labels like “Defense,” “Education,” and “Welfare,” and told America’s leaders they would only be able to spend whatever cash they budgeted in each category until the next wave of taxes comes in.
Finally, in a dramatic gesture, Ramsey reportedly produced a large pair of scissors and cut up the nation’s gigantic credit card into tiny pieces.
“It’s time for America to start acting its wage,” Ramsey said in joint press briefing with the President Thursday. “We have to stop buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress nations we don’t even like.”
According to Ramsey, the nation will be put on his strict “debt snowball plan” until the $21 trillion owed is paid off completely.