LOS ANGELES, CA — Local man Seth Bridges' date with Taylor Swift got off to a rocky start as the singer began writing in her song idea notebook mere minutes into dinner.
"Let me see -- Seth, breath, death," whispered Ms. Swift, scribbling. "Hmm, what rhymes with alone?"
Having not even touched his salad yet, Mr. Bridges felt the date had begun to head south. "Yeah, that's a bad sign," thought Mr. Bridges as he sipped his wine. "Now she's humming -- but it sure doesn't sound like 'Love Story'. Man, why does 'Seth' have to be so easy to rhyme with? I knew I should have given her a fake name."
Despite the rocky start, the dinner reportedly ended with Ms. Swift asking if they could meet for dinner again as she hadn't yet thought of a good bridge for her new song. Though claiming to be a man of self-respect and dignity, Mr. Bridges immediately agreed because the person asking looked like Taylor Swift.
At publishing time, Mr. Bridges had reportedly attempted to keep the relationship going by announcing at their second date that he had legally changed his name to "Orange".
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!