NASHVILLE, TN — According to sources, Daily Wire political commentator Matt Walsh is horrified after DailyWire+ announced a new Matt Walsh-themed anime series entitled Libslayer One-Beard Man With Walrus.
"All of us here at the Daily Wire are proud conservatives, but we're also major weebs," said CEO Jeremy Boreing while clutching his full-size waifu body pillow. "It has long been a dream of mine to create a conservative anime series, and now that dream is realized."
The new series will follow One-Beard Man as he slays liberal demons with his quirky walrus sidekick using his powerful skills, which include turning his beard into a chainsaw, morphing both arms into high-powered stun guns, and transforming into a man-eating translucent mermaid.
"With every fiber of my being, I hereby denounce this irredeemable piece of filthy demonic garbage," said Walsh in his podcast after the announcement. "It's scientifically impossible to transform your beard into a chainsaw. It literally cannot happen. If The Daily Wire has chosen to abandon transcendant objective truths like these, I may have to take my talents elsewhere."
Libslayer One-Beard Man With Walrus will feature the voice of Chris Pratt doing his best to imitate Matt Walsh, who refused to lend his voice to the project.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
