KING OF PRUSSIA, PA - For many, a trip to the garage is a daily ritual performed without much thought. But for local dad Jon Richardson, a trip to the garage is a solemn reminder of the fun life he used to have.
"This place sure brings back memories," a tearful Richardson exclaimed as he opened the garage door to grab a garden rake. "It's like a museum of all the hobbies I had before I had kids….look, there are my old golf clubs! Man, I miss playing golf."
Indeed, the Richardsons' garage is a veritable memorial to Richardson's fun pastimes. In the corner are the aforementioned golf clubs, coated in the dust of six Pennsylvania winters. An out-of-tune guitar sits next to them, along with an old fishing rod and a pair of unused hunting boots.
Richardson's eye was drawn to a camping set sitting on a shelf. "We used to love going camping on the weekend before we had kids," he explained. "We haven't gone in seven years now. We still use the folding camp chairs, but only to hang out at soccer practice on Saturdays."
As Richardson grabbed his rake and exited the garage, he vowed that this would be the year he would finally restart his hobbies. "I'm serious this time," he said wistfully. "This is the summer I'm actually going to play some golf!"
Three weeks later, Richardson's wife sold all of his old belongings at a yard sale to make room in the garage for her yoga mat and the kids' new bikes.
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.