VALENCIA, U.S. - During a recent bedtime routine, local father Nick Samuels started to suspect his 3-year-old daughter Lulu was stalling in an attempt to stay up past her bedtime when the evening's prayer time entered its second overtime.
"...and thank You for Daddy and for Mommy for my friends and for school and for peanut butter sandwiches and for going potty and for my water and…" Lulu continued to lisp along for several minutes listing everything within a 10-foot radius, according to inside reports. When Dad's gentle "amens" attempted to steer her towards the close, one reporter confirmed the three-year-old's prayers only grew louder.
At the scene of the incident, another female, approximately five years old, was seen leaning over the side of the top bunk to aggravate the suspect, beginning another stalling tactic experts have nicknamed "Bedtime Fight Club."
"I'm trying to sleep, Lulu! Be quiet or else!" One reporter noted Mr. Samuels' response to the exchange as "abrupt and frantic", followed by the Goodnight Song from "Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood" being heard from Mr. Samuels's iPhone.
At the time of publication, authorities were confirmed to have entered the premises holding The Wacker and Mr. Samuels was taken into custody, cited as an accomplice by proxy.
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: