MOBILE, AL — According to sources, local husband Brad Sanders has completely emptied the dishwasher without any prompting from his wife in hopes that she'll be cool with him watching 19 hours of football this weekend.
"Ka-ching! This is money in the relationship bank, baby!" said Sanders in a statement. "Doing this easy 5-minute chore voluntarily will definitely give me enough breathing room to sit on the couch and drink beer while watching several football games and hours of sports commentary without anyone bugging me!"
Witnesses confirmed he then went on to partially wipe the counter and put a dirty pot in the sink to buy himself 3 additional hours for good measure.
At publishing time, reports indicated his wife responded by putting him to work taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and fixing the bathroom sink before driving the whole family to an apple orchard.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
