PLUM, PA—According to reports, a local 4-year-old imbecile has picked a dandelion and blown its seeds all over a perfect lawn. According to witnesses, the boy's mother actually thought it was "cute" and took pictures as her son scattered the invasive weed garbage all over the manicured green front yard.
Sources say that the little jerk then skipped away as if nothing had happened, merrily singing out-of-tune because he's dumb and doesn't even know how to sing properly.
Lawn care experts say that the owner of the lawn will have to apply more weed killer to prevent the disgusting yellow weeds from popping up everywhere in his yard and making it look like utter trash.
Residents of the neighborhood claim they have also been victimized by local kids scattering the weed seeds everywhere, writing with sidewalk chalk on their sidewalks, and leaving tiny toys in the grass to mess up people's mower blades.
Actor and comedian Seth Rogan has demanded Biden deploy the National Guard to keep the evil little menaces from entering his neighborhood.