RICHMOND, CA - "Appropriating the fashions, foods, music, and lifestyles of other cultures is evil and wrong," said a man wearing a flowery dress, jewelry, makeup, and demanding everyone call him "Denise."
"Just because you really, really like something that is different from the situation you were born into, does not make it right to just take it for your own sense of self-worth and happiness," said the man who was given the name Richard Nelvenburger at birth.
"Imagine how other cultures feel when you just take what makes them unique and make it your own. It's unfair and wrong!" said the man who was born with a penis.
When confronted by a woman who pointed out the irony of what was being said, Denise rolled up the sleeves of her blouse and decked her.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
