SAN JOSE, CA — According to whispered reports coming from the break room, the coworker standing at his desk obviously just hasn't learned about chairs yet.
Witnesses claim to have walked past coworker Clarence Quellbrynt's office multiple times to confirm that yes, he had been in an uncomfortable standing position at his desk for hours, apparently oblivious to the fact that the company offers chairs to all employees.
"You alright there Clarence? You look...stressed," one coworker reportedly asked Quellbrynt while stretching his legs after productively sitting in his chair for a few hours.
"I'm great thanks, couldn't be better," replied Quellbrynt between quiet grunts while beads of sweat formed on his forehead.
After receiving offers to call the janitorial staff to see what they could do about getting him a nice comfy place to sit, Quellbrynt kindly dismissed the offer and then pulled out a yoga mat for some weird mid-afternoon stretches.
At publishing time, it was revealed that Quellbrynt was bringing oxygenated, Mongolian glacier water to work because he was obviously unaware of the free Dr. Pepper in the break room.
There's lots to be thankful for, libs!
