U.S. — In a shocking discovery sure to shake America to its core, conservatives announced they have uncovered a secret plot by the Democratic Party to turn Taylor Swift into an international pop star and the Kansas City Chiefs into a football dynasty so Swift could then date a Kansas City player and leverage the collective media coverage to get Joseph R. Biden, Jr. elected as President.
The conspiracy, confirmed by the sharpest conservative minds on social media, alleges that Swift's rise to the top of the music and pop culture spheres and the ascendance of the Chiefs to join other storied championship franchises in NFL history did not happen by mere coincidence, but instead were orchestrated down to the smallest detail by high-ranking powerbrokers to make sure the media storm generated by Swift's romance with Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce could ensure Biden's re-election.
"This is obviously an op," said one popular right-wing social media personality. "You mean to tell me that a singer-songwriter who has been popular for nearly two decades just happens to start dating an All-Pro tight end on a team that just happened to recently start winning Super Bowls for the first time in 50 years? Really? You people are such sheep. Wake up! Democrats have been planning this for years!"
At publishing time, the growing romance between Swift and Kelce that has captivated the world was being prepared to take center stage at the upcoming Super Bowl, which conservative conspiracy theorists allege will simply be a massive Democrat voter registration operation.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.