CNN Reporter Says German Army 'Seems Friendly' Despite Chants Of 'Heil Hitler!'
World

BERLIN—Reporting live from a Nazi parade in Berlin, a CNN international correspondent reported that in spite of the chants of "Heil Hitler" and "Kill the Jews," the crowd actually seemed quite friendly. 

"Yes, it is true that these Nazis want to envelop the world in 1000 years of fascist darkness and wipe out the Jewish people, but they all seem so nice and polite!" said the reporter. "There are wives and children here, and they're all smiling and laughing, and one even gave me a bite of her apple strudel! How thoughtful!" 

According to experts in the media and in Hollywood, evil people are always monstrous, psychopathic cartoon villains and they are never nice or polite to anyone. This led to the reporter feeling very confused.

"The fact that these people are so friendly makes me wonder if Nazis aren't so bad after all," the reporter continued. "Otherwise, I would be forced to admit that all human beings are capable of evil and depravity when they believe wicked ideologies. Of course, I can't believe that, because then I'd be forced to admit I'm capable of the same evils the Nazis committed, which I'm totally not, due to me being so nice."

The reporter then packed up to head to her next assignment in Soviet Russia to report on the friendliness of the KGB. 

 

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