World
CNN Criticizes Israel, Arab Leaders For Shaking Hands In The Middle Of A Pandemic

WASHINGTON, D.C.—CNN and other media outlets attacked President Trump and foreign leaders this week after footage emerged of Israeli and Arab leaders standing closer than six feet apart and embracing in a peace accord, clearly violating COVID social distancing protocol. Pictures and footage show Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and the foreign ministers of UAE and Bahrain completely ignoring social distancing as they smile warmly and shake hands while signing historic peace accords between the three nations. 

"This is simply beyond the pale," said CNN Chief White House Correspondent Jim Acosta. "No one here is social distancing, no one is wearing masks. People are smiling and sitting next to each other. It's a bloodbath here. It's almost as if President Trump is trying to kill these Middle Eastern leaders. This man truly has no shame. Just when you thought this president couldn't stoop any lower, he defies expectations and goes lower. This is truly a day of national embarrassment for this country."

Many critics are questioning Trump's wisdom in trying to negotiate peace in the Middle East during a global pandemic since there are probably way more productive things he could be doing like defunding the police or imposing a national mask mandate. Others are worried that peace in the Middle East could be some sort of a white supremacist dog whistle. Republicans, on the other hand, are pouncing on the critics, most likely because they are soulless jerks who want people to die. 

No one really knows what the peace deal means except that it may make Trump look good, which of course means it's bad.

Unfortunately, the ceremony erupted into chaos, and peace talks collapsed after an argument arose over the correct pronunciation of "gif." 

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