Home > Church > Church Welcome Team Puts Out Fresh Pot Of Hot Brown Water
Church
Church Welcome Team Puts Out Fresh Pot Of Hot Brown Water

VALENCIA, CA—Sources at Valley Free Grace Church confirmed Sunday that the welcome team, always on top of things, put out a fresh pot of hot, brown, vaguely coffee-tasting water just as visitors and church members began to arrive for the service.

The hot, brown water is carefully brewed, with church volunteers making sure not to put too many coffee grounds in with the water, lest it actually have any flavor.

"The trick is to only use a small pinch of coffee grounds for every giant vat of water," welcome team committee lead Karen Winsaker said. "If you put too much, then it starts to taste like actual coffee. Then church members are going to start expecting that, and the next thing you know we'll be catering to their every need."

"We've got to keep their expectations low," she added as she put out a fresh plate of stale Donettes.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that the addicted junkies at the church were still scarfing down the almost-coffee to get their Sunday morning fix.

 


A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!

Readers of the Bee,

If just a small fraction of our visitors became subscribers, we'd have enough funding to stop running ads and reduce our dependence on big tech companies like Facebook and Google. Will you partner with us to make this possible?