CEDAR FALLS, NV—A spokesperson for local church softball team the Grace Community Evangelical Eagles lodged a formal complaint against both the MLB and the Cedar Falls Church Softball League after it was revealed that there is a humongous pay gap between the Eagles and the New York Yankees.
"We actually have a better record than the Yankees right now," the spokesperson said, pointing out that their record is currently 6-3 while the Yankees are sitting at a middling 57-31. "And yet somehow, even their average players get paid millions, while we each have to pay a registration fee and buy a $10 shirt to participate."
"How can you lose 31 games in just half a season and make millions? This is a clear example of persecution and discrimination against Christians."
It was pointed out to the team that the Yankees bring in way more revenue than a church softball game, which might make $90 in sales at the snack bar. But the Eagles weren't having it.
"We believe in equality. And if that means we need to each pull in a cool seven or eight figures, that's the price we're willing to pay."
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.