Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive
Christian Living · Jul 15, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they're supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I've never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, "Hey, keep doing whatever you're doing. You're great and are going to Heaven." That's why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they're all great the way they are and don't need to change. I don't know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn't sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I'll bet he'd tell Christians to "chill out" on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it's all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you're making people upset, you're not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Whatever happened to him? I assume he got a book deal and ended up on whatever was the ancient equivalent of Oprah.


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