U.S. — With inflation and consumer prices climbing faster than ever, Christians around the country are finding it easier than ever to stop storing up treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
"Wow, I never realized how great a Biden presidency would be for my walk with Christ," said local Christian Sandy Mandy as she lifted both arms to the sky in thankfulness and humility. "In this economy, it's now impossible for me to lay up treasures on Earth because they're all gone now. Seriously, I don't have any money. Can you spare a few bucks so I can buy some food?"
Sources say Mandy isn't the only one, as millions of believers are rediscovering the joy of trusting God to provide for daily needs while storing up treasures in heaven.
"I used to trust in my 401K, and now I don't have one!" said Christian Dave Sanders, a Christian. "I guess all that's left is to trust in God now!"
At publishing time, Trump announced he would be running for President in 2024 so that all the Christians can start trusting in him again instead.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
