CLEVELAND, OH—During last night's explosive and chaotic debate, Trump totally steamrolled that loser Biden, and Biden totally put that fat meanie Trump in his place as most pundits predicted would happen. In the middle of the fiery debate, moderator Chris Wallace suddenly excused himself and left the debate hall to go jump in a volcano.
"Excuse me, Sir," Wallace said in his booming broadcasting voice to a local Cleveland resident outside the building. "Do you have any active volcanoes nearby in Ohio?" The helpful local motioned in the general direction of Mexico, where several active volcanoes are located.
Wallace then boarded a plane at the airport, flew to Mexico, climbed Mount Popocatépetl, and stood on the edge.
"Goodbye, cruel world!" he lamented. He then cast himself off the edge of the volcanic crater and into the bubbling lava.
Fortunately, CNN and Fox were there to film the over-the-top event which led to great primetime ratings.
Thousands of Americans have also flocked to the site so that they also can jump in the volcano.