U.S.—Chick-fil-A has introduced a subscription service that allows you to take bulk delivery of their delicious food every Saturday evening to help you survive every Sunday morning.
Subscribers receive a bulk delivery every Saturday evening before Chick-fil-A closes with enough food to get their family through the trial and tribulation of an entire Sunday without Chick-fil-A.
"Tired of braving the lengthy Chick-fil-A line just before closing every Saturday night?" asked a Chick-fil-A rep. "Now, you don't have to bother putting in your order every week or rushing to beat closing time. Instead, you'll wake up Sunday morning to the delicious smell of Chick-fil-A on your doorstep."
The restaurant got the idea after they noticed families ransacking the restaurant every night in a desperate attempt to pick up food before it's too late. Company spokespeople said that when the "Open" light goes off on Saturday night, there are still screaming families outside banging on the door and begging for just one more Chick-fil-A order.
The boxes containing your bulk delivery of chicken sandwiches, milkshakes, nuggets, and fries will be equipped with a sound chip like the ones used in expensive greeting cards. When you open the box, a prerecorded message will say, "My pleasure."
Chick-fil-Saturday subscriptions are expected to run anywhere from $50 per week for a family of four to $1,000 per week for a homeschool family.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.