WASHINGTON, D.C. — A large number of lawmakers on Capitol Hill felt embarrassed today, as Republicans from the House of Representatives all showed up to the Congressional Halloween Party dressed in the same clown costume.
"Oh, man, this is really embarrassing," said former Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy while adjusting his big red nose. "Believe it or not, we didn't even plan this, it was just totally by happenstance that we all came to the Capitol looking like clowns. Now everyone in the country will think we're idiots."
Despite still not being able to fill the position of Speaker since McCarthy's ousting weeks ago, House GOP members had hoped to unwind and enjoy the costume party. "It's been such a train wreck with the Speaker stuff," said Patrick McHenry, who was only identifiable by being the shortest clown in the room. "With the Republican caucus feeling like such a circus, I felt compelled to dress up like a clown. Looks like all of my colleagues had the same idea."
While other lawmakers showed creativity and individuality with their costumes (Rashida Tlaib showed up as a rabid antisemite), some Republicans were proud to finally show some form of solidarity with each other. "It's been a long time since we were all in agreement," said Jim Jordan. "This is the most cohesive and united we've looked in a long time."
At publishing time, the Halloween party was reported to be a bust, as the GOP majority was unable to agree on a music playlist for the event.
By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?