Politics
Biden Campaign Reveals Plans For Oval Basement

WILMINGTON, DE—The Biden campaign has revealed plans for an oval basement, should the former vice president win the election.

If Biden is elected, he'll work out of the comfort of the new Oval Basement underneath the White House. The old Oval Office will be used by Kamala Harris to run the administration while Biden naps and is held there for safekeeping.

"We'll be converting the White House basement into a cozy, laid-back Oval Basement just for Joe," said one aide. "It'll have a bed, couches, and, heck, who knows: maybe a dartboard and a ping-pong table."

The presidential candidate also specifically requested a regulation-size shuffleboard court and a presidential aide who does nothing but run Bingo games all day.

Biden lashed out at journalists who questioned him about the planned basement, saying, "What are you trying to pull, Jack?" and "Who are you people and why am I dressed up in this suit and tie?"


Babylon Bee subscriber Stuart Karoubas contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
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