ALBANY, NY—A ceremony honoring Governor Cuomo's fantastic response to the coronavirus pandemic will be held at a convenient location: a now-vacant nursing home upstate.
Cuomo was awarded the United States Award for Disease Response Excellence by Dr. Anthony Fauci at the recently vacated venue.
"We just had all this free space opened up," said Cuomo. "This is a great new space to host all kinds of cool events. They've got a cafeteria, lots of available beds for a little shut-eye, and a room to play Bingo. I could get comfortable here."
Dr. Fauci praised Cuomo's response and awarded him a medal honoring his contribution to the fight against the pandemic in a solemn ceremony.
The ceremony concluded with a game of shuffleboard.
"New York did it right," Fauci said in an empty room at the nursing home. "They had the right response to this thing: overreact with people who probably won't die from the virus and send the elderly to nursing homes to make sure they are safe. Governor Cuomo is a pro-science hero."