NEW YORK, NY — The entire cast of the all-female talk show ‘The View' was forced to get rabies shots this week after Whoopi Goldberg bit all of them.
The incident occurred after Goldberg said on-air that Trump would banish interracial marriage if elected. Following her comments, she then ran around the studio biting all members of the cast and crew, prompting doctors to rush on stage and give everyone a rabies shot.
"He's gonna deport you and put the white guy with someone else!" Golberg yelled before biting every person in the room, running directly through a plate glass window, and rampaging through the streets of New York City.
"I'm worried she might have had rabies," Doctor Leo Martin told members of the press. "The way she was acting, sort of foaming at the mouth and yelling nonsense; these are classic signs of rabies. We were able to apprehend her in Midtown and subdue her before crating her in isolation for a few days, as is standard procedure."
The cast of ‘The View' said they were grateful for the fast action of the medical crew and believed it saved their lives. Animal Control released a statement saying if Goldberg recovers she can be rehomed to a new show at a farm upstate.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
