WORLD - Car manufacturers around the world are aiming to increase sales to women by replacing traditional "check engine" lights with new warning lights reading "Check Engine, or don't, whatever, it's probably no big deal."
The warning light will flash when the car's computer detects something seriously wrong with the engine or transmission or other key components of the car, but will assure the female driver that it's not a big deal and they can drive with the light on indefinitely.
"This is a more realistic warning light for the female market," said one executive at Toyota. "Frankly, the other one was getting ignored anyway. At least this time we know women will read it and do exactly what it says." The cars will also display change oil warnings, but they will read, "Change oil whenever it's convenient for you, no rush. You're a busy woman. You do you. #bossmom."
At publishing time, manufacturers had introduced an alternative warning that reads "Ask your husband to check the engine."
Mission accomplished: Satan has just confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth was crucified and will never be coming back.
