Journalists and social media users were abuzz this week following the vice presidential debate, with people offering fascinating insights into the body language, facial expressions, and other characteristics of the candidates.
The Babylon Bee is here with the most important analysis of all. Though the image of vice presidential candidate J.D. Vance displayed here may seem unsuspecting, further investigation reveals the following list of cleverly disguised signs of toxic masculinity:
He never once apologized to the female moderators for being a man: Typical alpha male behavior.
Note the piercing blue eyes: You know who else had blue eyes? Hitler.
He's not reading from a teleprompter: Showing off that his brain is larger than that of any woman.
A thick, well-manicured beard: He's clearly not eating a healthy, soy-based diet.
His hair is combed to the right: To the FAR RIGHT, that is.
He's wearing an American flag pin on his lapel: A well-known sign of white supremacy and hatred toward women.
A sharp, threatening elbow: A clear indication that he's a violent, democrazy-hating fascist.
He's speaking forcefully: No doubt engaging in hateful "mansplaining."
Now that you're aware of the warning signs, you'll be able to spot this dangerous, right-wing extremist for who he is.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
