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Christian Living Church
Calvinist Worship Leader's Beard Gets Caught In Guitar Strings Again

SILVERLAKE, CA—Worship guitarist Gavin Simpson got his beard stuck in his D-200 Deluxe Martin acoustic guitar at the Enclave Seeker Collective in Silverlake last Sunday. Simpson's beard hair measured over seven inches, far beyond the recommended length for the D-200 guitar. The mishap occurred while strumming the strings in a flurry of energy during the song "Beautiful Things" by Christian hipster powerhouse, Gungor.

"It was during the really intense part where we're all like 'YOU MAKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS' singing super high and the girls are like 'YOU MAKE ME NEW--' and like, just crazy energy," said Simpson while paramedics were carefully untangling the guitar from his beard using beard oil and tweezers.

"We wanted to just cut it but he doesn't seem emotionally able to accept that kind of a loss," said paramedic Sandra Morris. The three paramedics who attended to Simpson untangled the beard hairs one at a time. The process took just under seven hours. 

Witnesses say the tweezers smelled like craft beer and pipe tobacco after the process was completed. Simpson thanked the ambulance crew and offered them each some of his homemade organic pickled quail eggs in kombucha as a show of gratitude.

 


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