SACRAMENTO, CA—The California State Legislature passed a law today which requires every American flag in the state to have the stars representing anti-LGBTQ states removed. Governor Gavin Newsom signed the bill in rainbow ink this morning and then blew a kiss to the CNN camera in front of him.
The law requires the removal of 11 stars. The stars of Alabama, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Tennessee, and Texas are to be removed no later than November 1, 2019.
The State of California said it would not stop at 11, either. Several states — including neighboring Arizona — have been added to a watchlist put together by the LGBTQ Awareness Committee. Rumors suggested the committee was fully prepared to remove all stars besides California's if need be.
“We have a lot of work to do in this state,” said Speaker of the Assembly Anthony Rendon. “It starts with protecting the LGBTQ community. Nobody wants to look up at our beautiful Capitol and see the stars of bigotry. Heck, does anyone even want to see those thirteen stripes?”
Rendon is correct about the stripes. The thirteen stripes represent the bigotry of the original thirteen colonies. When the colonies declared independence from Great Britain in 1776, it was only a matter of time before the LGBTQ community would feel the wrath of right-wing extremism. Possibly, the time has come to get rid of the flag entirely. In the meantime, California continues to progress toward equality for all.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.