SACRAMENTO — Governor Gavin Newsom confirmed what climate scientists have been saying for years, that the devastating California drought is undeniable evidence of climate change.
The California governor posed for a photo op while crouched next to a pitiful dead plant as he discussed the science. "People who deny climate change clearly haven't seen California. A lot of it is desert. And it's only going to get worse," he said as it started raining.
"Excuse me, I misspoke. California rain is undeniable evidence of climate change."
Newsom quickly moved away from the dead plant to pose next to an overflowing swimming pool just in time.
"Whew! Good save, Gavin," the governor told himself. "That was a close one. People almost didn't believe you!"
At publishing time, climate scientists agreed that literally anything is evidence of climate change if you believe hard enough.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
