TEXAS - By popular demand, every Buc-ee's location will now add a dozen BBQ sauce pumps to its existing 512 fuel pumps, allowing Texans on the go to pick up gallons and gallons of sauce for their barbecues.
"For the low price of $2.59 a gallon, you can stock up on good, old-fashioned barbecue sauce in a hurry," said Buc-ee's spokesperson Tuck McGinnis. "We know Texans are always grabbing bottles and bottles of this stuff for their next cookout, and now they can get it in bulk from the comfort of their lifted pickup truck or SUV, in the case of the ladies."
"So grab some Buc-ee's barbecue sauce and yeeeehaw!" The spokesperson was quick to remind everyone, however, not to confuse the barbecue sauce and the gasoline, as only certain models of Chevys can run on barbecue sauce.
The barbecue sauce comes in regular, sweet, and spicy varieties, selected by a button on the pump. Texans are encouraged to bring their own gallon containers or else just pour the sauce into the beds of their trucks, although some customers have already been seen pouring the sauce in their mouths directly.
According to McGinnis, should the program prove successful, the convenience store will be adding sweet tea pumps this fall.
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.