WASHINGTON, D.C. — Only one day after Biden's miraculous recovery from cancer, White House sources have confirmed the President now has COVID. Doctors say that the twice-boosted president only has mild symptoms, but has tragically lost his keen sense of smell. The White House will continue to provide updates and notify the country if his condition worsens.

Vice President Harris has responded by preparing an inauguration speech and changing the curtains in the oval office.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.