SALT LAKE CITY, UT — A group of local bros were able to provide their own entertainment during a night out drinking cosmos as they took turns laughing at their friend who had gayly ordered a Bud Light.
"Get a load of this fruit loop who drinks bud light!" yelled Zayn, who was enjoying a delicious cosmo like a real man. "Just look at him sipping on that Bud Light like a little fairy sissy boy!"
The other members of the group soon joined in. "Yeah, wow, that's pretty gay, dude," said Sebastian, who was already on his second cosmo, which is a real man's drink. "I never had you pegged for one of them fruitcakes, but here you are!"
Brendan just shook his head and smiled politely as the jabs continued. "Hey, Brendan, when did you become a woke communist?" said Trent, who was between swigs of his cosmo. "Did Elizabeth Warren buy you that beer? GAYYY!"
At publishing time, the group was heard continuing the badgering of Brendan for his Bud Light as they finished their cosmos and left the bar to head back to Zayn's apartment to watch oiled-up men in tights wrestle each other on WWE Raw.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
