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Top 10 Reasons To Move To Alabama

U.S. · Aug 20, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
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Nestled in the heart of the South, there's a reason America's 22nd state is called "Sweet Home Alabama."

Here are the top 10 reasons to pack up and move to the heart of Dixie:


  1. Nice people always telling you to bless your heart: Southern hospitality at its finest.

  2. No one gets too worked up about football: Finally, people who act sensible about teenage kids playing a silly game.

  3. Home of the famous Aflac commercial actor Nick Saban: He's so great talking to that duck.

  4. Never have to walk more than 17 steps to get to a Waffle House: A little taste of what Heaven must be like.

  5. Can lose 53 pounds from sweat just sitting there: Where else can you drop three pant sizes without leaving your front porch?

  6. Always just one glass of tea away from experiencing the joy of diabetes: Sweet.

  7. Never have to think of what to say for a eulogy: "Roll Tide" or "War Eagle" will suffice.

  8. There are more guns than there are people: As the Lord intended.

  9. People there haven't lynched anyone recently: Way to go, Alabama.

  10. Within easy driving distance of Florida: One of its finest attributes.


What more do you need to know? Sell your home and head to 'Bama.


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