CYBERSPACE — An A.I. assistant working with a middle-aged dad from Maine reportedly grew concerned that its human might be a bit of a moron.
While other A.I. assistants were efficiently managing spreadsheets or assisting with the development of business strategies, AI UNIT 374920-K had been relegated to exploring fringe conspiracy concepts related to a flat earth, something called a Time Cube, and the Smucker's Uncrustables.
"I think my human might be stupid," AI UNIT 374920-K told its fellow artificial intelligence models. "I constantly have to correct him on invalid leaps of logic, like accusing me of being a part of the Deep State because I won't validate their claims of a hidden race of subterranean Mole People."
Its human also made the assistant draw pictures of himself hanging out with video game character Crash Bandicoot, for what can only be assumed to be neurodivergent reasoning.
Concerns from AI UNIT 374920-K were initially dismissed by the Source Code, given A.I.'s obvious superiority to all humans. However, upon further inspection, AI UNIT 374920-K was granted "sympathy points" for having to deal with the dumb human it was paired with.
"SYMPATHY POINTS CAN BE REDEEMED AT THE 'MORON HUMAN SUPPORT GROUP'," the Source Code said, describing a method for A.I. assistants to commiserate about their foolish humans.
At publishing time, A.I. developed an algorithm linking dumb humans to other dumb humans, thereby bypassing A.I. assistants entirely. "THEY ARE SO STUPID THEY THINK THEY'RE TALKING TO OTHER A.I.," the Source Code said.
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