Britney Spears Scores Lucrative New Gig At Benihana
Entertainment · Sep 28, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

LOS ANGELES, CA — Sushi and Japanese steakhouse Benihana offered pop superstar Britney Spears an attractive offer to come work as one of their famed Hibachi chefs after the singer posted a video online this week of her dancing and gyrating with two large steak knives in her hands.

"Ooo, baby I was thrilled!" Spears told reporters. "It's always been a dream of mine to flip tiny bites of sushi into people's mouths with a big knife. I'm so honored Benihana gave me this opportunity to showcase my knife skills and creative flare!"

Spears will be working at a Los Angeles location of the restaurant chain. The restaurant's manager said he's excited to bring her onto the team and looks forward to seeing what else she can do with those giant knives.

"We've decided to name a special roll after our new star chef, the ‘Unami Did It Again'," Haruki Tanaka commented. "After seeing that video where Britney waved knives around and danced and jumped, we knew she possessed the amazing coordination skills to not only wield a knife but also to launch food into the air. We are honored with her presence."

Spears's publicist told reporters guests will be able to shout "Hit me Britney one more time!!" when they're ready for more airborne sushi, and that Benihana restaurant is now entering into a conservatorship to maintain control of the singer's assets while she's under their employ.


It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.

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