Senator Feinstein Death Not Expected To Affect Re-election Campaign
Politics · Sep 29, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Dianne Feinstein has passed away at 90 years old. In the wake of the tragic news, her estate confirmed to reporters that her death will in no way affect her re-election campaign.

"Make no mistake, Senator Feinstein will continue to serve in the Senate and will be proudly running for another term next year," said Tad Binkelstein, a spokesman for her upcoming campaign. "We need to move past this old idea that one's death should preclude one from serving their country."

Campaign surrogates assured voters that a vote for the California Senator would ensure a continuation of Feinstein's reliable left-wing voting record. "There is no candidate more suited to represent a dead state and a dead republic than a dead Senator," said Binkelstein.

Early polling indicated a 6% increase in her favorability rating in the wake of her death.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

DOGE is here, and Elon and Vivek will eliminate millions of government positions

Here are the top 10 most useless positions that they'll target

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now