HARAN — Following a night of wine and music, Jacob reportedly began to assure his new bride Rachel that he hadn't gotten that drunk at the wedding last night, only to discover he had, in fact, gotten that drunk.
According to new information, Jacob had not married Rachel the night before as previously intended, but he had instead gotten totally smashed and then married her sister Leah.
Leah, who had not overindulged the night before, was reportedly offended when her new husband kept saying, "Oh no, oh no, oh no! This can't be happening! Where's Rachel? WHERE'S RACHEL?"
Laban, the father of Leah and Rachel, was suspected of intentionally bullying Jacob into taking shots of tequila as part of a scheme to marry off his eldest daughter first.
"Yeah, he worked seven years for Rachel, but have you seen Leah?" Laban said by way of defense. "I had to get her a husband somehow."
Rachel later said of the matter, "It's fine."
At publishing time, Jacob agreed to work seven more years for Rachel if Laban would promise not to get him drunk and marry him to one of his camels.
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