U.S.—A new, bombshell report indicated that local parents Jeff and Cynthia Peyton may have bribed their children, Jenna and Aiden, to smile for this year's Christmas photo.
An audio recording of the photoshoot earlier this year was leaked to press and seems to confirm the parents resorted to "blatant, wanton bribery" to elicit the desired expression from their kids.
"Look, just smile for the picture, and you'll get whatever you want," said Jeff Peyton on the leaked tape. "You want the new Minebuild or Fortdig game or whatever it's called? You got it. Candy? Piles of it. Smile for just three freaking seconds and you'll have the world."
The parents also reportedly resorted to straight-up threats, suggesting they would withhold dinner and screentime until their demands were met.
"We're dealing with a definite quid pro quo here," said one investigator. "The parents clearly dangled the offer of a trip to Chuck E. Cheese over the kids' heads just to get that two-second-long smile for this year's Christmas card."
"This goes all the way to the top."