Black Man Votes Republican, Immediately Turns White

SANTEE JUNCTION, MO—At an early voting location this morning, African American citizen Conroy Ferguson turned white after voting Republican. Witnesses also claim he aged about 10 years and become perceivably more stuffy and unpleasant. Upon checking his wallet, Ferguson found his name had also changed to Clinton Hemsley. 

Hemsley attempted to return to his family but when he explained what had happened he was cast out—not for his new skin color but for voting Republican.

There are now signs up at the voting location warning black voters that if they vote Republican they may also suddenly turn white.

Breaking: PayPal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.

There are 23 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.