WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a touching address to the American people this week, Biden acknowledged that many minorities are struggling in this economy, and vowed to work hard to help them, whether they are "black, yellow, or taco."
"I vow to work even harder to help all minorities, whether you're black, yellow, or taco," said Biden as he deviated slightly from the teleprompter. "All the colors, folks, all of 'em. Even the weird ones. Even the tacos without sour cream, which are too dry and spicy. Even the raisin pudding when you leave it in the sun. Not as good that way. Come on, man! You minorities need to know the president's got your back, and if you don't have my back, then you ain't black, yellow, or taco! Durvmuvfflin!"
The White House Communications team later clarified Biden's statement, saying: "The President is committed and has been very clear from the beginning that he's committed to being very clear. He is helping minorities, and his latest statement just shows his clear commitment to this."
The communications team later clarified their first clarification, saying Biden will not be making any more media appearances until his meds are adjusted.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
