Politics
Biden: 'I Won't Reveal Whether I Plan On Abolishing The Constitution And Establishing A Glorious Communist Utopia Until After I'm Elected'

LAS VEGAS, NV—Joe Biden was asked yet again today if he plans to abolish the Constitution, overthrow Congress, dismiss the Supreme Court, and set up a Communist regime to take their place. Once again, Biden refused to answer the question, saying voters will find out whether he plans to seize the means of production and institute a one-party rule, U.S.S.R.-style.

"Look, if I tell you whether or not I plan to institute a new Communist order, establishing a glorious worker-led revolution that will lead us out of this capitalistic nightmare and into a paradisical utopia, that would become the headline," Biden said. "That would be playing Trump's game. So I'm not going to say whether I support this great idea."

"Don't voters deserve to know this?" asked a concerned reporter.

"No, they don't deserve to know," Biden snapped back. "And you'll be the first thrown into the gulag, bucko, I tell you what. Write that whippersnapper's name down, Kamala."

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